Lost inside my own feelings, there was nothing I could do. This voice in my head wouldn't stop screaming. Everything was there, either I liked it or not... You were here, inside my every thought. The image of your face was so clear now. You were the first thing I was thinking about in the morning and the last one before I go to sleep. There were times that you were present even in my dreams.
But I never wished for this to happen. I didn't want to feel anymore. You see, after all these years I had become numb...Who were you to make me feel again? I never asked for any of this.
Sometimes I feel helpless, all I want is to push you away. Having you in my life only makes me want you more and more. But deep inside I know that there's no escape. Even if I walk away, if I disappear, you will still be present inside me, inside my every thought.
How can I ever explain all of these to you? Would you understand me or would you try at least? I used to feel isolated, but not anymore. For some strange reason I now found comfort inside this apathy of mine. I am afraid to love, I am afraid to open up myself to anyone. Maybe I'm ashamed of showing the ''real me'' to you. I wish I was able to let you in, but I can't.